An overheard conversation.

In a club house somewhere within the width and breath of this fair land, there sat three friends of differing ages and predispositions. They looked white collared and greying.  certainly an elderly batch if ever there were one.

A glass of scotch was being molly coddled by each one of them as I walked in and took a seat in the opposing corner, separated by a distance of a few feet. I have to admit, i enjoy being near the drinkers of these age. You could always find interesting news and opinions when men of such ilk get together. Apparently it didn't take long to overhear them speak their mind, as I waited for the serving staff to fulfill my order for a Gin and Tonic.

The matter at hand that was discussed that wet but humidly sweltering late evening was the perceived state of affairs surrounding our fair state and nation.

The rather constrained conversation was the same as it has always been when men of their rather matured age with time on their hands sat down to talk - of kids today, the challenges they as retirees faced, politics, socio economic woes and the moribund returns on their paltry savings, i thought nonchalantly whilst waiting for my eagerly awaited drink to arrive.

As I waited, the stillness of the room brought a welcoming comfort as apart from the visuals from the TV the evening had nothing better in store for me or so I thought.....

Well then, might as well listen …… It’s a good avenue as any to eaves drop on the troubles that the common man faces these days.   As the conversation wafted over to my ears, between small laughs and  the occasional dry ribbing  of each other , they voiced their opinions on the problems of divorce that one of their own was going through.
The How’s, Why’s and When’s. 

The gist of which was that, often not discovered until late in life happiness in a marriage isn't attained when you look for things in life like love, meaning & motivation, as it implies these TRUTHS are sitting or hiding behind a tree or under a rock.

These men made known that they recognize in life, one creates’ their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own motivation. 
They learn to forgive but not necessarily forget. Then they move on….

They obviously were feeling sorry for their own since that particular union did not see through because of this lack of understanding.

At that point, I found myself contesting their ideology inside my own head as if  I too was in a conversation with them;  I asked myself why I needed to listen to a couple of raving graying loons on the meaning of marital happiness as every soul was driven by different demons and contemplated turning my attention to the color TV out front again............ when I realized that I am driven by two main philosophies, know more today about the world than I knew yesterday. And secondly. maybe if you can, help lessen the suffering of others. You'd be surprised how far that gets you.

So I kept on fidgeting with the slightly iced Gin Tonic in front of me, which came earlier unceremoniously supplied by a sourish wait staff, acutely aware of the subdued noises surrounding me, pretending to watching intently at the images on the TV changing in front of me while studiously trying very hard to not be overhearing the conversation that was beginning to take my  full attention as my ears tuned into more of what these graying loons were saying.

The conversation had turned it seems,as I got lost in my own thoughts for a minute…..  “She is not really to blame for the mess she finds herself in” chipped in the craggly bearded one, who looked no more than sixty from where I was seated, his face weathered and beaten with a prominent mole on his left side of neck. ‘She's a victim of forty years of being fed the "poor me, I'm malay" line by her culture'.  He snorted, rather loudly.

“Whatever do you mean” chimed his other spectacled friend who was rather rotund but had a smiley look to his face. Given a white beard and a red shirt I would surely mistake this one for an off duty mall Santa.

“You see”  the craggly one said, moving his seat slightly askew and making himself comfortable for a deep conversation.. “For the first 45 years of this country people of all races (justly) sought for equal treatment under the law.  All they wanted was to be treated equally with other races’’

“Yes", said another, "so we all fought against the tyranny of occupation and achieved Merdeka as a result because we were united”  Craggly nodded and continued ‘Then, fourty years ago, our Dr. M helped make a move that was unprecedented at the time and remains unmatched by succeeding politicians. He announced a War on Poverty- primarily for the Malays, saying that its “chief weapons” would be “better schools, and better health, and better homes, and better training, and better job opportunities.” 

“So starting in 1974 and for almost two decades, the federal government poured at least some of its resources in the direction they should have been going all along: toward those rural citizens of all races who were most in need. Heaping assistance to the padi farmers and vegetable farmers with programs of self sustainability like Gerakan Hijau Negara, starting establishments like Biro Tata Negara, and creating Government linked Corporations like Felda and Mara. These were created out of a necessary need for the people of that era”.

“A structure of Bumi favoring government policies was thus established" the one that looked like Santa chimed and nodded studiously.  ‘And for a while it worked’ craggly one said, his eyes glazing slightly as if the act of remembering was more difficult than he cared to show.

“Poverty among urban and rural malays was significantly reduced by improvements in the 80’s which streamlined their people’s social security. The political parties helped established the principle that it is the responsibility of government to intervene on behalf of the disadvantaged and deprived Malays. But there was never enough money for the fight against poverty absolutely, and the leading political will of that time found itself increasingly distracted by another and deadlier war—the one  that was affecting their votes started by Anwar through ABIM, which was the Islamication of the nation. Although underfunded, Anwar’s pro Islam War on Liberal Malays still managed to provoke an intense backlash from conservative intellectuals and politicians at that time and it was shaking the foundation of Malay rural votes for the ruling main political party of that time’’ 
he grinned as the others nodded their heads as if the Holy Truth was being expounded through their conversation.

“You must realize that by the late 80's, the second generation of ruling Malay elites have learnt that to keep power close to home base, they have to continue to rationalize the peoples need for their continued sterling leadership” and he shifted his eyes to the left at me, looking intently at the board behind me as he provoked the rest with his opinion.

‘In this new generation of politicians’ view, government programs could do nothing to help the poor because poverty arises from the twisted psychology of the poor themselves. By the late 90’s era, it had become a cornerstone of conservative ideology that poverty is caused not by low wages or a lack of jobs and education, but by the bad attitudes and faulty lifestyles of the poor. The DAP was also guiltily seen as piggy backing on this ideology to help push their Liberal agenda. Picking up on this theory, pundits and politicians bemoaned the character failings and bad habits of the rest of the nation’s poor races for at least the past 25 years. In their view, these disenfranchised poor (of all races) are shiftless, irresponsible, and prone to addiction. They have too many children and fail to get married. So if they suffer from grievous material deprivation, if they run out of money between paychecks, if they do not always have food on their tables—then they have no one to blame but themselves. So, in the early 2000s, with a bipartisan attitude towards welfare, this kind of prejudice against the poor took a drastically misogynistic turn. Poor single mothers were identified as a key link in what was called “the cycle of poverty.” 

By staying at home and keep on waiting for state or association help to meet daily needs, they set a toxic example for their children, who—important policymakers came to believe—would be better off being cared for by paid child care workers in established religious homes or even, as Rafidah Aziz once proposed, in state run orphanages, so that they could be brought up as model Islamic based citizens.

“Welfare reform”  with an Islamic agenda was the answer then, in their eyes, and it was intended not only to end financial support for imperiled families, but the millions in zakat money could also be roped in to help finance any budget shortfall and also cure the self-induced “culture of poverty” that was supposedly at the root of their misery.” 

“The end result was a welfare reform bill—a bill, he emphasized by putting his glass up, it should be recalled, was thought up by Dr M and parliament—with an allocation of RM 100 million for “skill and religious re-training” for low-income women, single mothers and the destitute. -  And so began the policy that government knew what was best for the individual and what defines a good malay citizen. Which of course came at the cost of side lining the more liberalized western oriented and unfortunately non Islamic others.”   craggly beard finished the last sentence with a flourish of his hand,as if to prove a point.

 “What happened of course was the eventual unintended further intrusion of state and government into the private aspect of individual religious motivations” chimed the Manchester United T-shirt wearing older friend who had been silent until now. 

He started to lean forward rather conspiratorially .... and sipping a good long draw on his glass of scotch, he continued:

“For the past thirty years since, they HAVE been treated equally in a greater and greater degree and yet they still complained that they are being treated unfairly.  When they were held to the same academic standards as nons they screamed this equal treatment was unfair and they deserved preferential treatment.  While a high SPM score was required of the nons, they, under Affirmative Action quotas got into universities with much LOWER scores.  When nons’ used racially inflammatory words such as M***** Malas, they were openly criticized and labeled racist.  But when the M***** used to profess biases in private company hirings and made sure there was a quota for them in private companies irrespective of productivity, no one was supposed to bat an eye. Again, not EQUAL treatment, but preferential treatment.  When nons’ wanted to pay for schooling or housing, they had to come up with the money themselves to meet their costs of living.  But many M**** were raised to EXPECT the government to pay for their schooling, housing, and food for some imagined slight their ancestors may or may not have suffered 50 years prior.  Again, not EQUAL treatment but PREFERENTIAL treatment.''

Manchester United T shirt guy continued with a frown on his face " To be honest, if the leadership really wanted them to prosper they should imbue unto their wards the ethics of hard work,being respectful and to take responsibility for your actions.  It seems to me, these groups simply want to claim victimization with everything just to keep enjoying more and more of the economic pie without working for it. This is the real part of the race problem.   Arrogance on the part of M***** .’’

“ So it should come as no surprise when they seem easily manipulated and undisciplined, and poorly educated individuals like this chick screaming "Unfair " when she was held accountable by her husband, on the same moral code of conduct that people everywhere are held too. I'm not defending our friend, mind you... I just think She doesn't want EQUAL treatment, she of course wants PREFERENTIAL treatment.  She has been raised within a culture that feels that for some undefined reason they deserve special treatment over everyone else. And this results in the ULTIMATE irony of these preferential treatment seeking groups and it shows in their high divorce rates.  The culture that for 40 years claimed they were the VICTIMS of racism has become in my mind the BIGGEST advocates of racism in demanding for preferential treatment.  There is NO group of people today more in need of a good lesson in life's hard truths than M*****.This is an ironic twist that even Dr. M would appreciate.’’    he said as their order of the evening meal at long last was brought in by the waitress thus ending the rant.

 I turned to let my gaze drop to the far wall outside the club as I digested the details of all that was said by this trio. 

Who am I to question the right or wrong of their words as I was not even in their group but over hearing their rantings gives much food for thought to me on the general feeling of discontent many citizens of this fair country gripe about in private today.