Fatherly Advice

Compromising situations are caustic to revelational achievements, especially in this world where it's every man for himself.  Many betray their ideals and beliefs in search of a better life, whichever way they can get it.
It is general opinion that the rat race is supreme simply because of  our irrational fear and worry that the other guy is more secure and better off than we are. Today, not many people believe in the promised ways of Good and Holy that is written in the good books any more. We awake daily; shake, shiver, and we roll with the punches life throws at us and we want to give back as good as we get.

Generally speaking, the world is divided three ways; the achievers, the restrainers; and the don't know what the hell is going on's. If you don't know where you fall within the three categories above, you are in for a troublesome time on this earth.

The way I see it the whole wide world is searching.... for something...  to believe in; to achieve; it's crazy.
The  needless amount of pain and angst inside each individual's soul; I can see is heavy and woeful.
Me, after 43 over years of living on this earth, i know what it is I Want.
General laissez faire happiness and good will to all men and women.
It 's just that sometimes I forget what it is that was wanted !
Go figure.

To my children,
I say take time off to understand what it is you really want; what sacrifices are needed to get whatever it is you want and whether you are ready to sacrifice for it; be it time; effort or your soul. Plan your requirements early but if you care not to do so, deliver your life to the Supreme God and make a knowledgeable effort to remember and acknowledge Him in all your undertakings and moments. It's easy. Just take a moment to tell Him in your heart that you TRUST in Him and GIVE your Life For HIM to do as He wishes.
That's all.
To some educated and smart people the above will be rubbish and maybe even childish but then that's their belief. It doesn't have to be yours.  All it takes is FAITH. (Percaya-lah).
When your life changes for the better, it is you who will benefit; not the nay sayers.

An Eventful Week End

N ormally, fridays are often seen as the summer breeze heralding the coming of the long awaited weekends and it was no different for me this friday as it would mean dinner with my clients would be in store as usual.









This dinners are good events to sit and discuss the past/daily trials and tribulations of the week amongst the staff; the exco and me as their consultant and advisor to see us work through the problems management and operation of the pangsapuri often see. This time around, with the legal advisor and new manager's joining us for the dinner, many options and opinions were voiced out and plans formulated for the general uplift of the property and it's immediate surroundings.

It was a happy event as overall all views,opinions, questions and assumptions were thrashed out in the open with the big picture and  management values being discussed openly.                                                                                        
With the general consensus achieved  quite affably, we retired for the night around 10pm as tomorrow would be another busy day of wining and dining.

The schedule for the new day started early the next morning as we awoke to a bright warm new day. All sleepy and drowsy, i checked my sms'ses as usual and there was a reminder from the very affable Mr. Vincent low, sent the night before requesting I not forget that this saturday morning is the official opening date of the Malacca Club and we were invited to be there up front and standing before 9.30 am for the Club's welcoming committee to meet, greet and serve us.
Michelle had informed her mum of the morning's planned events and obviously mum in law wanted to follow us to see what the fuss was all about. Apart from Shoryn and mummy, the rest in the family was not interested to get up early to attend the Club's opening as Chandra came home quite late last night  and he was quite tired when he requested he not be awaken too early in the morning. Utheya didn't return home at all and probably spent the night at Joey's. So it was that the 5 of us made it to the club in time to witness the opening sans Mr.Vincent Low as even with the early wake up call we gave him could not tempt him to join us at the ungodly hour of 9.00 am on a saturday morning! We met Datuk Seet, Moidu,Grace and her husband, Cashmir and family; and a few other families there but mainly the groups in attendance were all the above 50 -60 crowd as i suppose none of the young ones could make it that early on a saturday! Eventually after the Briged Seni dance routines, the Lion Dance (and there was supposed to be a mrithungam troupe presentation also which i missed); and the SFI 24 Drums Troupe; buffet brunch was served with free flowing beers and squash ! Good Enough for this crowd, i suppose. (We eventually moseyed up to the 5th floor where the Club was situated and saw that the exco committee of the club were also feted by the management with their own Lion dance and Brunch consisting of Abolene, Lobsters and such in the 1890 Lounge !) That was where my luck was turned on as i sat there witnessing the Lion dance, the last Lion on the way out danced its way to my seat near the Long Bar and presented me with a mandarin orange much to my delight as this was always taken as a good omen by the chinese! Must buy number already. Who knows right?

When I got home later in the afternoon, and upon checking the emails; my in box was full of congratulatory messages from the old boy network on the succesful convening of the Inaugural Workshop conducted recently. It is heartening to note the passion and support that is evident here amongst the Old Boys as some of their work and emails were quite surprising.
Here are some sample letters:
From: Phillip Tay
To: SFACom_ChanWaiSeng ; SFACom_ChillaraChandraRao ; SFACom_GanKongHoe ; SFACom_Gunabalan ; SFACom_KumarasanMuthian ; SFACom_SimonBuenaventura1 ; SFACom_TayBanChye ; SFACom_VictorKwongHonKiong ; SFACom_VincentLow2 ; SFACom_YeoKianHuat
Sent: Sat, 18 September, 2010 10:48:04
Subject: FW: Malaysia Day -16th Sept ..... DOUBLE EVENT : FRANCISCAN WAY FORWARD WORKSHOP, MCCA + FRANCISACN REUNION, S'PORE.

Dear Committee members,

Another great job well done & write up by Gunabalan.  My salute to you Mr. Gunabalan.

Regards,
Phillip Tay

e-mail : philliptay@malaccasecurities.com.my
Private e-mail : tayphil53@gmail.com

Hse Tel : +606 335 8167
Office Tel : +606 337 6733
H/p: +6012-6231678

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From: Tan Chin Shu [mailto:tancshu@yahoo.com]
Sent: Saturday, September 18, 2010 1:25 AM
To: Seet Michael; Chuan Hui Wilson Tay; FCKL EXCO; Michael Tan; Philip Tay sfi70; Balan Guna; Gan Kong Hoe Kong Hoe sfi84; vlow@pc.jaring.my; Choe Sim Chye sfi52; MinYong Wee; Ambrose Loke Bro; David Bro; Yeoh Jon Hann 93; Cho Thomas; Yeo Kian Huat sfi70; Cherian James; Vivienne Cheong; kutty; James Sia; vijaysanghrajka10@hotmail.com; Cho Michael; Ong TanSri; teckwah@linet.net.au; teckwah@carmen.murdoch.edu.au; Bro Rogers; SeeCheong Tan; Brian Lazar Morias sfi68; Anthony Chong sfi70; Sonny Chong; sonny chong; Bock Check Joon sfi75; Ming Wang Tan; hkwong@csc.com; Lim Beng Yau sfi81; Patrick Shii; Chua SeowYang; Shereen Ratnayake; Ong Kim Lee; Ngim Chin Kong sfi69
Cc: Seo KH Andy; Audrey Lim; fredyconcisom@hotmail.com; henry.yap@scotiabank.com; john toner; Leong YueKhau Anthony; Merican Ismail; mayday55@bigpond.com; Ng Kian Tee; tonychua001@yahoo.com.sg; dfern@shaw.ca; ooirodney@gmail.com; efernan@genre.com; cktbarry@gmail.com; Eric Chan (Home); Datuk Choy Yick Siong sfi66; Das sfi 53 Kumara; Ng Teck Seng Eric; The Franciscan; Jack White sfi54

Subject: Fw: Malaysia Day -16th Sept ..... DOUBLE EVENT : FRANCISCAN WAY FORWARD WORKSHOP, MCCA + FRANCISACN REUNION , S'PORE.

Dear FELLOW FRANCISCANS,



I am sure this day  , 16th Sept 2010, will  go down in the history of SFI as a turning point for our Alumni , our beloved Alma Mater and to all in love with our Lasallian cause.Firstly a thousand salutes to ALL FRANCISCANS  who attended the above FWF WORKSHOP in Mcca and to all who attended the  FRANCISCAN REUNION in Spore.And a very special thank to Franciscan , Dr. Wilson Tay '67. to lead & guide us through the Workshop  and Mr Ong Eng Kiam ,President SFA's full support of our effort.
And to all the  "young men" in SFA, Philip Tay '70, Kian Huat '70 , Gunabalan '84, Kong Hoe '84, Vincent Low '84  for courageously initiating this challenge ahead.
And, similarly TQ Kok Tong '58  for coming forth to help our Michael Cho '89 ( V.President ,FCKL ) in organising this FRANCISCAN REUNION S'PORE.
My cousin , Michael Tan '62  Perth , for painstakingly assembling the full "Position Paper" upon learning the Re-newed Mission that we in SFA & FCKL set forth to achieve.

=========================================================================

Dear Michael Seet '64 ,

Our tele-conversation this afternoon refers.
TQ for your much appreciated response for the Franciscan  cause.

I forward the write up by our fellow SFA  ExcoCom Member , Mr.Gunabalan, on the  Franciscan Workshop held yesterday for your reading.

Your immediate  pledge of a THOUSAND DOLLAR  for the ''SFA SCHOLARSHIP FUND " is most inspiring.

Our fellow Francisacn, Dr Wilson Tay presented us the all powerful management tool , the Paradigm Shift for the  transformation of  SFA.Now I realise how realistic & powerful this management technique is... Just a mention of Dr Wilson Tay & his good governance requirement and before I can explain to you further or before we in SFA have even make a slightest shift,you already decide to start the ball rolling for this very same cause that we in Mcca are simultaneously embarking. Please do spread the good words around.

I will definitely convey your  support and effort to round up more Franciscans in Spore & else where to  do their  little bit of "payback" and more significantly,for the furtherance of the Lasallian legacy for our future young generations.

In The Franciscan Spirit Always.

Tan Chin Shu
(President FCKL)

SFA/FCKL Inaugural "Way Forward" Workshop 2010

Time waits for no man.

It wasn't so long ago that plans were made within the St .Francis Association,Melaka- to create a mode of communication between the various support groups of the Alma Mater,the lasalle brothers; the old boys networks, the primary and secondary  PTA's and various other networking groups professing love and hope for the school.After 93 years of operation, the formerly inwardly looking association has enacted an outreach programme that hopefully will preserve the spirit of the founding father's ethos (on sacrifice for the public good of others).

A workshop had been planned earlier amongst the dual committees of SFA/FCKL to enumerate the various designs and plans the executive committees' had enacted for the coming together of all these support groups and factions for the benefit of future social (sports and other athletic endeavors), public and individual care (scholastic & other networking assistance) and assimilation without fear or favor as Franciscans; and La Sallian Malaysians .

This corporate re branding and outreach programme beginning with this one day workshop at the Seri Malaysia hotel on 16th September 2010 (also Malaysia Day) bodes well for the alumni's and its plans as the passion, endorsement and input of all concerned parties visible during that day was beyond our expectation !

With the vital component parties and support groups now endorsing the alumni's movement, we, in the SFA and FCKL see great expectations of all the hopes and dreams of a unified Old Boy Franciscan Movement becoming true day by day.

God is Truly Great. With patience, faith and hope all things good will bloom and prosper and with that in our heart and mind we begin our baby attempts to carry the torch of service and humility for the greater good of all La Sallians & Franciscans for hopefully another millenia, first amongst our own brethren and eventually out reaching towards all.

What Gunabalan did recently:

Current Project : Re branding Alumni (SFA);

Last Saturday, on the second day of the 2010 Hari Raya celebration, several of Melaka and KL's leading individuals,professionals, Franciscans and concerned parties of the La Salle education ethos and culture held a discussion on the 24^th floor of the Rennaissance Hotel - private penthouse to set in motion the beginning of the re branding of the Old Boys association into a focal point that will provide a foundation for the associated good will and themed clubs that support the school (St. Francis Association) through out the country and beyond .

The clarion call to meet and discuss the future path way of the Association of Old Boys and the satellite chapters in KL and else where was initiated by the Melaka old boys association -SFA.

Some of the items discussed were:

“Revitalizing SFA – The New Beginning Advance Workshop” 

Attended by :     Ong Eng Khiam (SFA President),Tan Chin Shu (FCKL President); Gan Khong Hoe (SFA)

                        Yeo Kian Huat (SFA), Gunabalan (SFA Building Chairman), Phillip Tay (SFA Secretary)

                        Vincent Low, Bro.Ambrose,Dr. Wilson Tay; Mahendran Kutty (FCKL), Michael Cho (FCKL)

    AGENDA:

·         agree on vision and mission statements;

·         agree to change of direction;

·         agree to adopt changes;

·         establish broad priciples;

·         establish policies (followed up with procedures);

·         establish working groups and committees;

·         agree on timeframe to effect the changes

·         appoint a Forum panel of Senior Franciscans and a Chair Person;

·         divide the attendees into groups (depending on numbers attending and/or topics);

·         elect a chair person to represent each group;

·         allow the chair person to recommend to the panel the thoughts of the group; and

·         the panel will deliberate and recommend a "White Paper" for adoption.

Vision & Mission statement – collection from earlier discussion which will help to throw out some  current worries and  fears of the participants.

Briefly the   *** Vision of the Alumni *****

1.    Fellowship

2.    To foster the bonding to the Alma Mater.  

 a)   Financial aid to the school needs and to support to the activities organized by the school

 b)   Share experience with the boys

3.    Interaction with other La Sallian Alumni 

                        

Many other general topics which are important to touch on were also discussed i.e:

1.    To allocate a Budget for the Alumni to carry out the set of activites to fulfill the Vision & Mission statment
2.    Consolidate the database for existing and available Franciscan between SFA & FCKL and G&W
3.    Both SFA & FCKL to play the role of "Big Brother"
4.    To reach out like the tentacles of the octopus to as many of Franciscans as possible
5.    Organize seminar to involve members & Franciscans how to get them to become members of the Aumni.  

      To find out from them what the Alumni is not doing right.  Establish a feedback loop on a yearly basis.                   
6.    Organise motivation talks by prominent and successful Franciscans for the school going boys in Form 5 & Upper 6.

The number of participants in this coming workshop would be limited as this is our Inaugural workshop which we
have much to learn and improve on.  Suggestive no's of participants from the various section of the  school and community.

·         SFA open to all committee members but participation is voluntary and has to pay their share in the cost of hosting the workshop.  Estimate approx 7 to 8
·         FCKL Committee members – similar treatment as SFA committee members.  
·         SFI School authority namely teachers who can see the same vision and support the cause of SFA.
·         SFI Primary Headmaster  - 1pax
·         SFI Secondary – 3pax nominated teachers by Bro. Ambrose (eg Mr. YongKhengKwang – Diary man, Puan Vivenne Chong)
·         Bro. Director – 1pax (Bro. Ambrose)
·         Green & White editor – 2pax (Mr. ChoeSC & WeeMinYong)
·         PIBG Chairman Primary & Secondary – 2pax (Dr. Eugene Nicholas)
·         Invited Senior Franciscan & Guests – 4 to 6 pax (Hiliary D’Cruz, Sim Beck Choo, Molly Toh, Tan Hoon Keong, Michelle Wong)
·         Moderator – Dr. Wilson Tay

Gunabalan & YeoKH gave an explanation on the Corporate Governance and why there is a necessity to bring up in the workshop and make full awareness to the participants on the needs to implement the Board of Directors (BOD) in the Alumni following the proposal as highlighted by YeoKH who is driving the point to make SFA which is a non profit organization to be self sustaining and has the capacity to raise the fund in order to assist the Alma Mater when the needs arise. With this set-up, SFA basically can be “Self Perpetuation” after the current group of zealous members are no longer around, the Alumni will continue to fulfill the original Vision & Mission statement.

With the set-up of Corporate Governance, we will have to review the compliance to our existing  Constitutions and amendment will be necessary and subsequently submit to ROS for approval.  

Guna make it specifically clear the BOD must basically have expertise in the 4Ms ie

1.       Management (with power and influence)

2.       Money (Philantrophist)

3.       Manpower

4.       Missionary ie connection to Civil and Government Department and decision makers.

All agreed that the establishment of a DATABASE is of great importance to get in touch with the Franciscans young and old, near and far.

As such to achieve this task, we agreed there is an URGENT need to set up a Secretariat to ease up the workload on the committee members as many of us still have our own activities to oversee and manage our time for the business, work commitment and family.  The cost to set up and maintaining the Secretariat will be on the sharing basis between SFA and FCKL. 

 Employ a person to do this job.  Set up an annual budget approx RM 26K allocated for this purpose.

Cost of perfection

Picasso was in a park when a woman approached him and asked him to draw a portrait of her.

Picasso agreed and quickly sketches her.

After handing the sketch to her, she is pleased with the likeness and asks how much she owed to him.

Picasso replies: "$5,000."

The woman screamed, "But it took you only five minutes."

"No, madam, it took me all my life" replied Picasso.



******************************************************************************************

[class84_sfi] Revitalizing SFA - The New Beginning (a joint workshop by SFA & FCKL)

From:	Vincent Low  View Contact
To:

---

Hiya all,

I'm proud to announce that ... SFA (St. Francis Association), established since 1917 and most probably the oldest alumni association in the country, will be moving forward to a 'new beginning' ... and, I would like to share with all of you this eventful moment, so that you too can be witness to the evolution that will be taking place.

After several meetings and many many many brainstorming sessions within the current SFA committee members ... and also sharing of ideas with our KL chapter (the FCKL committee members), ... we had decided to kickoff with a joint workshop/seminar (on 16th September at Hotel Seri Malaysia, Melaka) to communicate to various parties and invited guests of our plans to 're-brand' and 'revitalize' SFA.

The list of parties and invited guests consist of ...
i) Bro. Ambrose Loke,
ii) SFI Secondary's Principal & SFI Primary's Headmaster with a few key teachers,
iii) key persons from SFI's PIBG (Secondary & Primary),
iv) Mr. Choe Sim Chye & Mr. Wee Min Yong from the Green & White,
v) a few key old boys and old teachers,
vi) SFA & FCKL committee members,
vii) Dr. Wilson Tay (an old boy & Facilitator/Moderator for the workshop/seminar)

Being our first workshop/seminar (possibly the first of many more to come), we had decided not to make it too big. Thus, the headcount were limited to around 30 ~ 40 people. We had also initially planned to make it a 2D/1N stay-in workshop/seminar (cum get-together and fellowship) but later decided on a one full-day event instead for this first time round.

Some highlights for this workshop/seminar would be ...
* Looking into SFA - Past, Present and Future
* The new Vision & Mission of SFA
* Setting up a Business Model (Corporate Governance & Secretariat)
* Franciscan Home (the new building)
* Outreach ('Big Brother') program

Now, the core idea of this 're-branding' or 'revitalizing' is to ...
1. Maintain & preserve the La Sallian culture.
2. Keep the La Sallian ethos alive thru ...
   a) the continuance of old boys networking.
   b) funding scholastic awards.
   c) providing financial assistance to the Alma Mater.
   d) providing leadership and career guidance thru the outreach program (Big Brother).
All the above is to ensure within SFA the continuity of the La Sallian and School agenda/essence.

Let us be proud of our Alma Mater and strive to keep its essence !! LONG LIVE THE FRANCISCAN AND LA SALLIAN SPIRIT !!!

Regards,
Vincent Low

Morning Glory

Awakened fresh and feeling frivolous this mid morning Thursday, the simple smells and pleasures of a home cooked breakfast by mum and an apparent unhurried sense of mid morning pleasure greeted me lazily, spurring the stomach to gurgle deliriously her contempt to me for keeping it empty since late last evening.

 

The daylight outside my windows looks mellow and yellow today. There might be rain later on. The chirping sounds, noises from the invisible birds & insects & the smell of the morning dew on the wet earth slowly evaporating & giving way to the rising heat of the sun is quaintly relaxing and heartening as I throw open the french windows on my bedroom but in a good way as it reminds one of the promising bounties that are awaiting for us outside.

 

It is almost natures ‘mid morning promise of a brand new day to all its tenants.

Inside the house, mum is busy with the afternoon meal as she grinds; pounds; and spices her love into the food that is being prepared for all of us all the time casting a wary eye on the sky as the promise of a full day of sunlight might still be offset by the occasional sudden down pour that is quite the norm in these parts. As the winds blows away and the still of the birds and insects quiet down, that will be the signal that it’s time to bring down the clothes and laundry that has been put up to dry.

It is approximately 11 am and the warm winds of the morning are wafting slowly up, giving off the much needed warmth of the earth that was lost in the night. The shimmering shiny lights of the sun playfully bounce off the curvy metal in the parked car’s bonnet as the swaying boughs and leaves of the large overshadowing trees are blowing mysterious whispers into the winds.

Inside the kitchen, the open back doors of my house invite the lilting Tamil songs of the neighbors radio combined with the mesmerizing pounding noises of the pestle & grinders from their nearby kitchens. These are the familiar sounds that bring comfort to my ears as the day grows longer and the sun climbs to its apex position into the sultry afternoon sky.

The hand phone bellows suddenly, part of a song track from the Black Eyed Peas and this puts the neighboring cat on the alert as she surveys the direction the offending noise is coming from, safe from her perch on the window sill. It was a call from the client’s staff requesting for my attendance in their sudden meeting called for security company changes and barrier gate repairs. After checking with my calendar, the time and date of the meeting seem not to clash with my other duties and appointments currently and so was given the a-okay. As this is part of the duties that is offered to all clients as their management consultant, it would be necessary to keep abreast with the problems surrounding each corporation and committee councils. Not many are aware that this is a good industry for those with the necessary experiences as the elected committee members of the properties (condo, medium cost flats, etc) are almost always owners of almost no experience in property management and the preceding strata title laws governing them. The problem is to get them to buy your service as most times these councils hardly ever broadcast nor advertise their requirements due to budget and cost factors, and even when they do , it is  almost always only in the vernacular papers. Word of mouth is used  often 90 percent of the time for offers to help them run their properties  and though this is not the formula for a thriving consultancy but then , where there’s a will there will be a way, ya ?

Coming back to the present, my morning rituals had hardly been started when another ring from the hand phone signaled the call from an alumni member (St.Francis Alumni) who called with regards to the coming workshop and retreat that has been planned and prepared 10 days from now.  We made plans to meet up in the late afternoon to thrash out some foreseeable problems and incidentals.

These preparations are part and parcel of the new management by leadership amongst the young members of the alumni who were selected and shanghaied by the old committee 3-4 years ago in a plan to revamp and reinvigorate the almost 97 year school alumni.

Part of the plans made initially was:

• to increased the activities and membership;
• shore up the financial baskets and income derivatives of the Alumni;
• leading to the purchase of its own building.

All of the above & more have been proposed, pushed and implemented within these past 3-4 years and we now stand at the cusp of owning our own building after 97 years in the waiting! What is even more gratifying is the knowledge that within a short time span, we have managed to reduce and convert the Nay -Sayers into supporters of team SFA (the Alumni); and even the legacy of the la salle spirit of brotherhood & sacrifice seems to be revived with the new inflow of good will combined with managemental methodologies; proper visualized plans and impacted implementation.

As usual, this type of revival is never accomplished alone and is always a team work proposition. Identifying the nucleus and it’s orbiting support channels were imperative in the initial stages and  now, at our current stage the understanding that amidst all our different ways and ideologies;  the  success this team has been able to accomplish was  inevitable through their acceptance that we all agree to disagree respectfully inside the stratum of conviviality and mutual respect  which is edging this new committee into different yet  generally mapped out directions  away from the past and historical legacies in anticipation and realization of a better future.

Moving forward, within the next few years, with our building acting as a foundation upon which the Alumni ‘S plans stands on, the current management teams hope to visualize and materialize a new rebirth of a phoenix. Arising out of the ashes almost 100 years from the date of inception; this rebirth will bring forth hope of a new promise and revival of the lost spirit of the La Salle and Franciscan way of life & brethren in the Malaysian peninsula. { AGE QUOD AGIS}.

Laugh out loud !

Women the Unanswered Question !

A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to  Hawaii  so I can ride over anytime I want.' God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take!  I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.  Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.' The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God, I wish that I , and all men,  could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.                                                                    God replied: "You want two lanes or four on that bridge” =================================================================== Banned from the co-op!  Yesterday I was at my local Co-operative buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.    What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.   I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.  (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)  Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.   I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. For causing public nuisance,I'm now banned from the Co-op. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say. Hope this helps you laugh for the day.