To one and to all,
Welcome to this attempt in recording the chronology of events that happens in my life.
Who am I ?
I'm just another person you might bump into in the busy street, anywhere in the world. Just like a million others. This effort in compiling and keeping a diary (as we used to call it, couple of years ago before Google and Blogs!) is for the most parts, just an effort to remind myself how lucky and fortunate I have been.
The other reason being that, a recent conversation reminded me how because we live in a "NOW" world, the situations that the present represent to us is soon forgotten and archived as the past in our memories, soon to be forgotten, until and unless a memory is jogged.
Hopefully, this record keeping process will be useful to remedy that weakness and also be utilised by others as a option to remember me by.
Righty Ho. The year is 2010, and I'm a 43 year old male of Chinese / Indian parentage, living in the Historical City of Melaka, in Malaysia, South-East Asia. Normally, when you meet someone new, amongst the first things they would do to break the ice with you is ask" so, what do you do?''
In my case, i owe my character and disposition to the fact that I grew up working as a assistant waiter to eventually head my own Butler Dept in a 5 Star Branded Hotel establishments. (The Beaufort Group in Malacca & Singapore). That working environment molded me to be what I am today.
I'm just another person you might bump into in the busy street, anywhere in the world. Just like a million others. This effort in compiling and keeping a diary (as we used to call it, couple of years ago before Google and Blogs!) is for the most parts, just an effort to remind myself how lucky and fortunate I have been.
The other reason being that, a recent conversation reminded me how because we live in a "NOW" world, the situations that the present represent to us is soon forgotten and archived as the past in our memories, soon to be forgotten, until and unless a memory is jogged.
Hopefully, this record keeping process will be useful to remedy that weakness and also be utilised by others as a option to remember me by.
Righty Ho. The year is 2010, and I'm a 43 year old male of Chinese / Indian parentage, living in the Historical City of Melaka, in Malaysia, South-East Asia. Normally, when you meet someone new, amongst the first things they would do to break the ice with you is ask" so, what do you do?''
In my case, i owe my character and disposition to the fact that I grew up working as a assistant waiter to eventually head my own Butler Dept in a 5 Star Branded Hotel establishments. (The Beaufort Group in Malacca & Singapore). That working environment molded me to be what I am today.
| My dad, Sisters and I -pic taken late 80's |
Historically, I'm happy to record that i've had a very interesting childhood, a pampered childhood even, up to around 5 years old.
That was when my father lost his job and we soon after became quite the destitute family. My Old Man , Mr. Veerasamy Govindamal Balasubramanian was a clerk of works with the JKR. (Municipal of works); aged round 40++ when he married my mom, a seamstress from a hakka chinese (fish monger) family. ( Mdm. Yap Moy)
He'd already begun another family much earlier and had 8 other children from that marriage. My mum was his 2nd wife and we all lived in the same roof under his happy rule. Dad unfortunately became quite depressed with the goings on afflicting his life after losing his job in his early 55's though, when the British left Malaya.,as most of his so called power and prestige and money (honor,even) were vested upon the privilege of being gainfully employed.
Father's History:
According to my sittapa,(Mr. Arumugam) father's youngest brother, we are 3rd generational malaysian indians originally from Raja Mannargudi in Thanjavur.
Edit : A little trivia about my chittapa. He was the last of his generation on this earth. I will miss him. He used to tell me many stories about dad. Like how Father was the one who brought him up in the early days after grandmother passed on. How dad was in his youth, what he did in singapore (short time as police man) and why he left singapore. Arumugam chittapa used to share.....how my father actually held his hand even while they were walking around together when in younger age. How father raised all his sisters and brothers while working as accounts clerk for a chettiar toddy shop. How his gab for the english language allowed him to be in clerk and supervisory positions early in life although his education was limited to 8th class only.
Another fact was that my chittapa's IC age in s'pore and his real age is very different. They never knew his real age (as in those early days of malaya, people used to plant a coconut tree once a child was born....and that tree was a marker for that individuals age all his life from then on!) so it was just made up at the registrar for identities in the 50s based on logic !
I estimate his real age to be in the high 90s at his death.
Chittapa had his ups and down in life but he was happy. A man of simple needs.
He and my chitti gave me undivided security, love and cash without asking when i lived with them for a month during my first time working in singapore.
Coming back to the story, apparently my grandfather was brought over to work in Malaya at the tender age of 12 years old but choose to jump from the boat and ran away from the group to remain in malaya ( boat that was chartered by the British to return them to Thanjavur in 1900s)
Now, coming back to story of my father, The burden of Maturity was thrust upon him early as, being the eldest male within his family (his rather large family of 9 siblings); Dad had to protect and provide for their interests since a very early age, probably since 13-15 years old, as his father passed away early. So, he toiled, moiled & grovelled his way forward in British Malaya & Singapore, where he was even employed as a police constable at one time.
Slowly marrying off all his siblings, restituiting the Family lands for the benefit of his brothers and sisters; and at the same time having to feed his own growing family, he accomplished and fed / clothed all that he had domain over successfully.
According to my sittapa,(Mr. Arumugam) father's youngest brother, we are 3rd generational malaysian indians originally from Raja Mannargudi in Thanjavur.
Edit : A little trivia about my chittapa. He was the last of his generation on this earth. I will miss him. He used to tell me many stories about dad. Like how Father was the one who brought him up in the early days after grandmother passed on. How dad was in his youth, what he did in singapore (short time as police man) and why he left singapore. Arumugam chittapa used to share.....how my father actually held his hand even while they were walking around together when in younger age. How father raised all his sisters and brothers while working as accounts clerk for a chettiar toddy shop. How his gab for the english language allowed him to be in clerk and supervisory positions early in life although his education was limited to 8th class only.
Another fact was that my chittapa's IC age in s'pore and his real age is very different. They never knew his real age (as in those early days of malaya, people used to plant a coconut tree once a child was born....and that tree was a marker for that individuals age all his life from then on!) so it was just made up at the registrar for identities in the 50s based on logic !
I estimate his real age to be in the high 90s at his death.
Chittapa had his ups and down in life but he was happy. A man of simple needs.
He and my chitti gave me undivided security, love and cash without asking when i lived with them for a month during my first time working in singapore.
Coming back to the story, apparently my grandfather was brought over to work in Malaya at the tender age of 12 years old but choose to jump from the boat and ran away from the group to remain in malaya ( boat that was chartered by the British to return them to Thanjavur in 1900s)
Now, coming back to story of my father, The burden of Maturity was thrust upon him early as, being the eldest male within his family (his rather large family of 9 siblings); Dad had to protect and provide for their interests since a very early age, probably since 13-15 years old, as his father passed away early. So, he toiled, moiled & grovelled his way forward in British Malaya & Singapore, where he was even employed as a police constable at one time.
Slowly marrying off all his siblings, restituiting the Family lands for the benefit of his brothers and sisters; and at the same time having to feed his own growing family, he accomplished and fed / clothed all that he had domain over successfully.
This was a big thing actually because in Malaya there was a time when 80% of Indians worked mainly in the plantations. As rubber tappers and field workers.
Only daily wages. Small houses, big families. Their children went to Tamil schools. 80% dropped out before reaching Std 6. The labourer worked and worked for a meagre income of RM 25 a month!
Poverty was a vicious cycle. Their only entertainment was Tamil movie!
Their joy was paying tribute to the temple and goddess Amman- once a year (thiruvizha). They may not be alive today- but we still remember from their stories- it was because of their blood, sweat and tears that we are here today......hence this history.
Being in charge and looked up to, for most parts of his life, he was unprepared for the ravages of time and pleasures of the bottle on his body and strength; an absence of a steady income that jobs provide; and the gradual but debilitating mental depression that follows loss of income and stature.
Without the benefit of these privileges and things that he was already accustomed to, he was soon left alone by his brothers and sisters and their family and friends and he drowned his sorrows and his reduced stature in his own society and in his mind with alcohol and a general mentality of disdain for everything and every one around him and subsequently, a stroke followed (in his early 50's+) that rendered him down but not out.( It took him a while and at one stage , I remember well while in the Hospital and i was probably around 10-12 years old , that he said to me in his usual stoic manner "Don't be afraid,son. I will not leave you yet. You're not ready" and true to his word, he didn't. Many years later, when he was in his late 60's, he had a lung and heart infection and infarction and it was at that time that he called me to his side and said to me" I think, you are ready, now" I was almost 28 years old and a father of two at that time) !
So, back to the past, Mummy had to work to support her young brood and being unable to read or write in malay/English, was not very suitable to the then slowly expanding Malaysian economy,apart from being a cook and cleaner for factories and hotels, while the elder wife looked after the household budget & chores of cooking,washing and looking after me and my still young sisters.
My mum sacrificed many things when she decided to have me.
She sacrificed her Family; her Culture and Customs; she even sacrificed her own pleasures and dreams once she knew she was conceiving me inside her belly.
My grand father was a typical heart land chinese man whose dented pride and honor in having his daughter marry a blackie prevented him from seeing that love knows no color, creed or custom.
Luckily, after i was born, things were subdued and he did eventually accept us back into his family's fold before he passed on in his 90's (and my grandmother in her late 80's).
If not for their combined blood, sweat and tears of toil; none of us would have made it , today.
Even though father did manage to overcome his Stroke after 4-5 years, he relied almost indefinitely on his wife(s)to care and maintain the household during the hard times while he recovered and chased away his blues.
Hard times soon fell upon us, as expected, till late 1987, when yours truly started working and in 1990,began a family.Fast Forward 20 years later, and here we are in the new millenium, me with 3 kids-My mum sacrificed many things when she decided to have me.
She sacrificed her Family; her Culture and Customs; she even sacrificed her own pleasures and dreams once she knew she was conceiving me inside her belly.
My grand father was a typical heart land chinese man whose dented pride and honor in having his daughter marry a blackie prevented him from seeing that love knows no color, creed or custom.
Luckily, after i was born, things were subdued and he did eventually accept us back into his family's fold before he passed on in his 90's (and my grandmother in her late 80's).
If not for their combined blood, sweat and tears of toil; none of us would have made it , today.
Even though father did manage to overcome his Stroke after 4-5 years, he relied almost indefinitely on his wife(s)to care and maintain the household during the hard times while he recovered and chased away his blues.
Utheya Kumaran (born 1990); Chandra Segaran (born 1993) Shoryn Gunabalan (born 1996).
Married to Michelle Wong Yoon Fong, happily for the past 21+ years. this will be my attempt in recording my musings and travails in Melaka.
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