Bantering with my Buddies

Back when I was growing up in the backwaters of old Malacca town, being labeled a "player" was actually quite a compliment. Those days, if you were born of silver spoon lineage, you were expected to “mess about”. 


As it turned out, yourS truly was not born into a family of means,hence the rather obvious early desire to create my own comfortable family so that my scions can be children of means.


The term amongst my people back then was to say “He’s a real Krishna!” and it was intended to be said as a nicety; usually as a form of respect for the family and background.

Playboy’s were basically well to do individuals who dressed with élan, had an enviable lifestyle, charmed both ladies and gentlemen, knew his way round societies niceties and had more than a hint of the rogue.

Hence the term “Krishna”.



 it is worth mentioning though, the lifestyle choice mentioned away above, needs be defined in our hearts and minds as a way of life of those who seek comfort and respect as birth right and is not a carte blanche pass to cause ill will, break hearts nor is it to crush hope and desire amongst anybody !


The term "KRISHNA" IS NOT ONE WHO BREAKS HEARTS NOR COLLUDES  TO CHEAT BUT SOMEONE WHO ENJOYS LIFE AND ALL IT'S GLORIES TO THE BRIM AND HELPS OTHERS TO SEE THE BEAUTY  THAT IS CALLED LIFE  !

As i was saying, recently in the company of some friends, I was complaining to this group of elderly seniors friendly to me, the ravages of time and sun on my erstwhile body and soul. 

There was a duo amongst these men, who between them had about 150 years of life experience. Chief amongst the duo was a gentlemenHaji and this gent,  truly espouses much of the ethos of that classic playboy: enviably erudite, stylish, and rakish.


These were the characters that as a young person I WANTED TO EMULATE as it signified to the younger me, the ultimate persona of a comfortable man. 


Their advice to me was worth its weight in gold “Growing older with Dignity and Character means being at peace with your individual flaws and particular flavors.”

Meaning: “Be at peace with yourself and learn to forgive others their transgression towards you”.


The gentle souls (bless their hearts!) also went on to unravel to me the need for charades when providing the outside world with an illusion of proprietery comfort for oneself  at all times as everyone needs to be reassured that we know what we are doing since most men and women are lost at some time or other !


It is very interesting that once our minds are at peace the amount of things we can achieve, either through want or through need.Casting my eye about the social scene here in Melaka, one can noticeably separate the real players from the pretenders or more to the point the boys easily, though now-a- days the women are the real players and the difference is it appears the women don’t pretend not to be cradle robbers anymore! Everybody loves to play the conquerer.

It is not easy to manage this coquettish lifestyle as ultimately the rugged requirements of a "playboya" lifestyle & decorum (whether men or women) is to manage to look like they've just hopped off a polo pony, but with the appearance of an individual who's just stepped off a tractor.

Maybe the whole idea of dressing well and living with style is outmoded amongst the men. Many today consider it gay to be stylish. Maybe we're happy to dress like builders and aspire to nothing more stylish than sitting around with bottles of Carlsberg beer with roti canai as chasers.  

Mind you, I have nothing against beer. In fact, sipping a cold beer on a hot afternoon, wearing a white shirt open at the neck, blue blazer with brass buttons and grey flannel trousers to me is the very embodiment of  gentlemanly calm and elegance. So much so, in itself that to me is a very serene, iconic and almost ethereal imagery of a man’s man.

Having said that, I can't help but think our societies all the poorer for the loss of a good crop of real MEN as players, as in the yester years, don’t you agree?
The world needs to be assured that life is good and will get better and what better way to encapsulate that than to be the man about town enjoying the adulation and attention of our kinsmen ?