Confessions 2

It's been 2 weeks plus since my wife confessed to me that she is in love with another man.

We have been discussing almost every night since on the effect and impact such a decision will have on our young family.Reasoning with her calmly, we remind each other the reason we married, our desires for each other fanning both our passion to succeed in life and love and where we stand today after 2 decade of loving each other.

She is in deep denial, from my point of view because she vehemently defends her love interest when ever I question his intentions and character for tempting another man's wife.

In our discussions, sometimes she obliges me by listening, agreeing and repeating that she still has an interest in me and our family, and would limit her contact with the other man but at the same hour I would see her discreetly sms Andrew, (sometimes in one day - both in the mornings & evenings!)

I've even tried explaining to her how even internet chats and phone chats are a way to fulfill her mind's wandering path, as it allows her to miss (rindu) the other man more because it makes her happy to sneak around like a teenager playing the game of love.

My wife allows me to inform her all my fears and worry but replies that while she is at home with me I must not concern myself with her extra curricular activities and that I should just enjoy our moment together.

She has tried to make me feel better by saying that if I only knew what went on in her head, I would be very surprised. She professed she has even imagined and thought what it would be like to allow me in bed with another woman and the three of us together.
I've asked her if she thought of  the other man when making love with me but she was quick to deny it which left me even more in wondering.

You see, she is aware given the fact that her mum did the same to her dad 20 years ago, she is not keen to repeat that sort of pain on our family but at the same time she wants to maintain her relationship with the other man and she promises to limit her phone call & internet chats until such time she can control her emotions for him better.

For the moment all I can do is to believe she will change her mind for all our sake's.
I will place my trust, hope and belief on her, again.
The past cannot be changed but I will hope the best for our future

Because if all it takes for another man to make her happy, excited and in love is to say he loves her and my wife of 23 ++ years is ready to respond to that man , it does not really say very much of me as her husband and lover,does it?


As we speak more on her insistence to keep contacting the other man, it dawns on me that my innocent, sweet wife is as much the chaser as that man. She gets her kick out of that relationship because of it's illicit nature and because she's safe in the knowledge I still love her and want her.

She is doing this because she has the opportunity to do it.

I have remained calm and compose for so long, hiding my pain and worry, because I was under the impression she still needed me to support her emotionally as my wife & it was my duty to safe guard her in our family's interest.

When I informed her yesterday of how I now feel, she finally admitted to me that she is doing what I feared the most (chasing the other man) and had lied and cheated me all along in her relationship and financial matters because she knew I trusted her completely and wanted the family to be stable. She admits she did all of the above because she was incapable of telling me the truth, fearing I would look down on her and because she thought she could control it and I need never know.

When we talk in our bed during these times she often cries ( and it makes me very sad to see her so emotional) tells me she understands my pain and worry and is sorry I felt this way, and never imagined she was capable of such betrayal but she now realizes that it is something she has committed although she never planned to do it but it was just that over the years,one small lie lead to another which lead to another and eventually lead her to this situation. She almost seems repentant to me.

She wants me to trust her once more, give her some time to get andrew out of her system and hopefully, in the future, i can inform and warn her whenever I see her straying away from us again.

When I asked her if she has grown tired of us as a couple and our quiet family life,she admits that is not the case and that she enjoys our love making time, which use to be every 3-4 times weekly before but because of all these new admissions, I've resorted to make her happy more frequently now days by concentrating on giving her longer and more oral pleasure and orgasms and increasing the frequency to 2 daily on the weekends when she spends more time with me.

Proud Grandparents with Baby Nicole

In retrospect, I take as much blame in her betrayal of our commitment as she does.

Maybe the fact that I'm very home centered makes for a boring husband.

 We discussed about spicing up our homely routine with excursions and dating out to help break any monotony and to add spice back into our after work hours. Many a time both of us vegetate and quarrel over who controls the remote whilst lazing about in bed and now we will try to talk to each other and communicate more rather than let the telly entertain us to boredom. 

I admit,even my friends come to see me at home when we want to drink or chit chat whereas guys my age  (and older) are all out there making a career,life and having fun for themselves and my wife said knowing I'm always at home, makes her not worry anymore. 

Hence the rationale to seek excitement and entertainment outside.

                                I pray God will help me go through this episode with dignity and courage.