Taking it one day at a Time.

The New Year brings with it a breath of fresh hope and delusion for things to be the way they were, but in all honesty when was it truly the way it actually was except in our own heads and images? My wife michelle and I have been hard at work recent days, repairing the broken bridges of trust and faith with time out for ourselves. 

Talking of a time when our dreams together meant something to both of us; walking down the streets of our Taman, holding hands some twenty plus odd years ago thinking of  the home we would built, all the great things we can achieve or more accurately speaking, hoped to achieve...together as a unit.

A couple once again

Lunching Together  @ zest coffeehouse

(Those were the days I speak about, we thought they would never end.

We were supposed to be together forever and a day.

we had the prospect to live the life we choose 

well, we were young and sure of our ways.

but the busy years went rushing by us

and soon we lost our way).

I seem to like sour dough with rye bread nowdays sprinkled with nuts and raisin.

She spoke to me the other day why i still seemed flustered and concerned about her and Andrew when she is trying to forget the other man as she promised earlier; given time. And for her,my constant wish to talk and confront the issue appear to be a manner in reminding her of him and it seems to her that I am voluntarily pushing her away from me to be nearer to him by all the constant reminders, even though she is not thinking of him when with me.

I told her that it's easy for her to say so since the opportunity she had is clearly motivating her to make the choices she makes; but since he has gone away for the past month and has not bothered to contact her since, she is now apparently trying to make amends by saying it was all just in my head and that she is sorry her actions hurt me as it was not her plan to do so but that in a way, confessing about her love for Andrew and the need for his companionship & attention from him may have been her subconscious way to make me fight to keep her with me and the family and not take her for granted.

I can see clearly now that I seem to be her back up plan...... so I asked her again, what if he returns and calls her again to be together?

She replied in the affirmative as she said she is able to love and care differently for both of us without any trouble as I am her husband and her responsibility remains with the family and me whereas he was just someone she takes as a person who can make her happy as she confessed she is excited by his attention on her.

She reminded me once again that she is aware it sounds selfish but after 20 over years of marriage, she feels with the kids all grown up and all, it was about time we both start to look after our own happiness as long as we come home at night to continue with our duty and responsibilities.

This incident in my life I'm relating above, reminds me of the old malay song:

Tudung periuk, tudung la periuk;
pandai menari, pandai manari,menarilah lagu putera mahkota
kain yang buruk, kain yang buruk berilah kamu,
buat menyapu si ayer mata

Chicken Satay with underlying grilled lamb meat and lemon/lime

And such is my life as it is today.

A satisfying meal

The cook also does Char Kway Teow on order.

This is where the coffee is prepared during buffet lunch

I loved the sweet after taste of  caramel toffee on this tart

Skewers of Chicken Kebab on a bed of fresh salad. Heaven on earth.

 Contemplation on a full tummy, how yummy life is.

 A view of the buffet/open kitchen/ work area in the dining room

I took two servings of this chicken soup as the broth was very satisfying

Siew pow (Mini  Meat Bun) for lunch in traditional steaming bamboo basket